Loneliness is what I call the monster that hides in the corner.
Waiting for that moment to strike.
Staring at me with those glaring eyes.
Those glaring eyes that are the only eyes that can actually see my soul.
They are the only eyes that see my life and continue to draw me back to the feeling I always hate.
Wanting someone to text me just so I can feel important.
Wanting someone to ask me how I’m doing without me starting the conversation.
Wanting someone who is willing to take their time to listen to me,
Forces me to show them my entire soul.
Rather than me throwing dog treats hoping they would want more.
Wanting more than what their stomach can handle.
Willing to scarf down each treat they get,
Never growing tired of that treat which I call my soul.
Wanting who feel comfortable with me to share their treats,
Willing to stay for the long run as I take my time ripping apart the soul that seems to grow tougher and tougher.
The soul that wants to be close to someone.
The soul that needs to be close with someone.
That monster that hides in the corner,
Lurks around reminding me no matter how many awesome people I surround myself with.
I can never fill the hole in my heart
Because I’m afraid that once I fill my heart.
That person will forget me
Like that penny they dropped.
That useless penny that sits waiting for someone to pick it up.
In hopes to see the sparkle in their eyes.
In hopes that they have the kindness to keep the random but beautiful piece of copper.
Instead of leaving it on the cold dirt
Hoping, wishing, dreaming.
That monster called loneliness,
Glaring, waiting to rip my soul to shreds.
Waiting patently for the day it can dance.
I tell you, I will not give up.
I will look for someone who fills my heart and listens to my soul.
My search will continue until my body can’t hold my soul or heart anymore.
They will be too heavy for such a weak container.
My final breath will be handled by loved ones.
Not by your claws.
So my life will be driven towards filling my heart and sharing my soul.
No matter how hard you try to convince me otherwise,
I will succeed in finding love.
I will succeed in feeling loved.
I will succeed in filling the hole.
Shining for all to see
Knowing that I have accomplished what you told me I couldn’t do.