U.f. Joe

U.f. Joe long poem

Uploaded by Matt Decker

Meet Zask and Zisk,
See them venture forth —
They know little
About the destination,
Only that it’s an energy station
On a big blue world
Known to locals as Earth.

“Look at that!”
Exclaims Zask,
“We are in luck —
This structure must be a gateway
To the stars in exchange for bucks.”

The transparent portal opens
And the two cautiously fly through
Into an aromatic atmosphere,
Wondering what’s about to brew.

“Here’s an interesting tidbit,”
Offers Zask to Zisk,
“Our ships are called ‘flying saucers’
Here on this oversized planet.”
To which Zisk sarcastically replies,
“Well that’s just ridiculously awesome,
Now would you please just can it?”

“I know the ride’s been bumpy
But must you be so grumpy?”
Asks Zask to Zisk
From an elongated throat
Beginning to feel quite lumpy.

Between the text-backs and paperbacks
And the tap-taps and chit-chat,
Zisk and Zask hover undetected
Over these life forms so distracted.

“Home Base! Home Base!
Calling Home Base —
Why have you sent us
To this odd and noisy place?”

Tho’ transmitted far from nigh,
Quickly comes back the reply:

“Navigator Zisk and Navigator Zask,
Yours is a mission of deduction
With a reconnaissance function —
So focus on the task
And await further instructions.”

Zisk points out a place to land
On a wide strip of land,
Making sure Zask understands
To watch for the jittery giant hands.

“Tsk! Tsk! I know this, Zisk!
I’m not exactly new at this.”

So without ado,
Boom or pop,
The scaled-down craft
Lands on the countertop.

There the saucer rests
Without drawing attention —
An inconspicuous arrival
From an alien dimension.

Meanwhile within the cockpit,
Zask and Zisk sit and wait
As they observe the human chatter
And clatter of cups and plates.

Suddenly and abruptly,
A bogey descends with a crash
On top of Zisk and Zask —
“We are under attack!”
Yells Zisk to Zask;
“Don’t you think I know that?”
To Zisk yells back Zask,
“What in this world is that?”

Then into the chaos,
From a place deep in Space,
An urgent message reverberates
From the bowels of Home Base:

We tell you the truth —
A hot handled hostile
Has come down on your roof,
So ascend and abort!”

The trendy human specimens
Stare in utter disbelief
As the latte levitates
With the rising saucer underneath.

Up goes the mug
On one unsteady ride,
Splashing its frothy contents
Over its ceramic sides.

After the saucer zips away
Into the light of day,
Zask and Zisk let out sighs
And in unison the duo say:
“So that’s why they call this
The Milky Way!”

Back home in the domain
Of their otherworldly plane,
Zisk and Zask feel disdain
As they strain to explain
Why and how their saucer
Now has a giant coffee stain.

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Matt Decker

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I am a former nonfiction/self-help author, having transitioned to writing fiction and poetry.
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