Puddy Mccuddy The Fuddy Duddy

Puddy Mccuddy The Fuddy Duddy long poem

Uploaded by Matt Decker

So here’s a quick study
On a guy that’s kinda nutty;
His name? Puddy McCuddy,
And he’s a real fuddy duddy.

In a nutshell, this nut is stuck in Time;
At least that’s the case in his dusty mind.

There’s a glitch in Puddy’s psychology –
He’s allergic to any modern technology.

He has never been sold on the idea
That old ideas can never be bold ideas.
At the end of the proverbial day,
Those ideas are really no ideas.

Around town “Muddy McCuddy” he has been dubbed;
A dig that fits since Puddy’s a stick-in-the-mud.

All calls to change
They have failed to work,
“Try something new!,”
Puddy often has heard,
But none of it has ever managed
To wrinkle this stuffed shirt.

Puddy couldn’t figure out the reason
Why strangers kept coming to see him;
Turns out these unfamiliar people
Thought Puddy’s house was a museum.

“What’s a program?,” wondered Puddy
As he failed to get with it;
So now he has made himself
Into a walking historical exhibit.

“There’s a slight chance
That I might be old-fashioned,”
Thought Puddy as he washed
His set of Depression-era glasses.

Not exactly on the cutting-edge of tech,
He “downloads” his music from a cassette deck.

He wears discontinued cologne and clunky headphones;
And there’s nothing even remotely smart about his phone.

He is convinced that Android is a sham;
So he takes selfies with a Polaroid cam.

Puddy’s buddy asked him if he had Bluetooth?
He replied, “Only when I drink blue juice.”

Puddy pines for the “good ol’ days,”
When the only laptops were tin TV trays,
And “text” only existed upon a paper page.

A whippersnapper asked him if he had a boo?
“It’s not Halloween,” answered Puddy, “what’s wrong with you?”

The study of Puddy McCuddy is a cautionary lesson
In the ever-present threat of irrelevance and obsolescence.

Those who fail to innovate
Inevitably they’ll deteriorate;
Will Puddy McCuddy learn this
Before it becomes too late?

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Matt Decker

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I am a former nonfiction/self-help author, having transitioned to writing fiction and poetry.
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