I shall explain everything

I shall explain everything long poem

You must be thinking,
here are shoulders that can take all your tears
and be surprised to find me on some days
with tears, that fires can’t evaporate,
leave alone the warmth of your embraces.

you must be thinking,
here is a heart that can brave the storms of life
and be shocked to find that
I lack the courage to even buy you flowers.

you must be asking yourself.

why do I flee at the mention of homes, but still,
plunge my face between your breasts with all my life?

you must be asking yourself.

why do I shudder in my sleep, but still,
look so longingly at wild horses?

you must be asking yourself.

why do I tremble at your touch, but still,
sit with my rock face while volcanoes erupt inside?

you must be asking yourself so many things.

if I may answer,
if I may answer at all,
I can’t help but talk about
the weary march of soldiers,
the coarse chorus of fishermen,
and certain dry laughters
that men share only with other men.
my love, if you were to ask me in silence,

why, on some rainy days,
i sit with a serious face,
growing beards and nails
and not dance as others?

my love, if you were to ask me in your sleep,

why, on some starlit nights,
I want to fill myself with bitter alcohol
and write the kind of poetry
that no child can understand?

my love, if you were to ask me with broken words,

why do I go searching for answers
in some grey books and not in your beautiful face?

I will have to speak with cactuses,
I will have to speak with bones of the dead, my love,
I will have to speak with refused milk and memories.

if you were to ask me in blazing anger,

what is this tryst with thorns?
what is this romance with tragedies?
what exactly do I expect to find in the darkness of some caves
that doesn’t come floating into one’s own room
with the sunbeams in the morning?

if you were to ask me in sheer frustration,

why, of all things, I want to go into a shell
even if it were to become a pearl?
or if you were to ask me simply,
why do I insist on sadness?

I will ask you to put your ear to my heart
and you might hear
scraping of walls,
you might hear
water dripping from pipes,
you might hear
obscene laughters,
laughters that should have wept and wept with tears,
you might hear
horrible words,
words that even the damp caves don’t utter from decency.

even then…
even then…

if you were to wonder, from night to night,
what wars have i lost
that I fight with you in kisses and bites?
what jewels have I misplaced
that I hunt this wildly in your thighs and navel?

I shall explain everything,
for once, and forever.

I shall ask you to look into my eyes
and if by any chance,
you were to see a clear blue sky,
I will have to say my clarity is but what comes
when the eyes have dried of tears.
I shall ask you to place your cheek upon mine
and if by any chance,
you were to feel swans sailing in a silent pond,
I will have to say my peace is but what comes
when one has walked over the fires
and danced with the snakes.

I shall ask you to place your face upon my breast
and if by any chance,
you were to find love tossing about like children in water,
I will have to say my love for you is but a lonely plant
that sprouts on some hard rocks.

This poem is part of the Poetry Book Oblivion

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Balaji Gopalan

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I owe all of my poetry to the influence of Pablo Neruda. Reading him 10 years ago on the beaches of Goa, gave me the permission to be who I am and write what I feel. My poetry has never been the same after that. All that I write is an offering to Neruda.
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Mark Sandford
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This is a beautiful poem!! If I could write poetry half as good as this I would be very happy.
You have a way with words and phrases that fills one with emotion. I connect with this type of poem.

Thank you.

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