Letter

Letter short poem

Photo by The Nick Page

Mom,
There’s so much you don’t know
But how do I tell you that my
Friend came to visit me for a few
Months now; as the doors open
For him to leave it feel hopeful
Again

So suddenly as the doors open
He shuts them; you are probably
Wondering who my friend is?
Well his name is Lonely and sometimes
He comes so unexpected and brings along his family –
Fear, Depression and Misunderstood;; he once brought along
His cousin: Suicide

Suicide had me convinced mom,
I wanted to leave so badly, the ocean was
Running down my cheeks, I could barely see, I wanted to
Crash my car mom – mom I wanted to die that day.
Societal regulations is the reason I never cry in front of people

Everyday is a battle within myself
I’m so lonely mom even with thousands
Of people buzzing around me. I like studying on campus mom but I don’t like
The feeling that goes along with it. I have made only friend mom,
Deshni, pretty amazing girl mom, you’ll like her.

Mom,
I try. I really do – I have my happy days
But then there’s the other days
Maybe you don’t know mom but I really fear being judged
By other people, I fear being the outcast – ironically
I am the outcast.
I’m so tired, tired of smiling when I don’t want to, tired
Of keeping everyone else happy – I just wish sometimes that someone
Would notice mom, that they will see my smile is fake
But through it all mom,
I’m okay, I’m fine, I’m alive

It’s not your fault mom it’s mine
I’m not the girl society wants me to be

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Sunel Huddlestone

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A misunderstood introverted girl without a best friend.
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