If only I knew
I knew what I don´t know
What everyone talks about
“happiness, friendship, love”
If only I knew how to trust,
Not only a friend but family too.
Everytime anyone told me to open up,
To tell them how I felt,
What was on my mind,
Just before they stabbed me in the back
And everyone knew my biggest secret,
My deepest fear. Everone laughing, staring,
Not caring enough to help
They all know that I want to stop
To stop everything around me
but I can´t. So all I can do is
to stop myself, to go to that place
the one everybody fears,
the everyone avoids and noone escapes
that room filled with nothing, a void.
“Everyone on their own” that´s our motto
Our parents tell us to toughen up
That everything passess with time,
Eventhough time does nothing,
It´s the actions done that induce change.
Noone does a thing, they don´t care
They leave everyting to what they call “time”.
Meanwhile I´m here going through it all
In my existence of pain, of solitude,
Wishing that someone appears and helps.
Somebody to hold my hand and say
“I´m here, you can talk to me” knowing I´m no table to,
That i don´t know how to trust anymore.
I try and fail, I see no escape, no freedom.
Happiness is not real for me
Not now nor in the future
I stay home and cry cuddled up in my bed
My parents say is a phase
My teachers know it´s not
Noone does a thing and i see no other choice tan to stop.