Idée Heal Fix

Forged while in utero (the crucible concocting conception),
the fluke of biology begat
me – a happy go lucky boy, whose vulnerable uber travails
susceptibly sprung sly as Tennessee Williams hip cat
on a hot tin roof, where the faux pas survivalist diktat
burrowing into my figurative, elusive, and divisive gofer hole decreed éclat
where solitariness didst a ford being driven psychologically by obsessive fiat
a compulsion to grip tightly with distorted, dispirited and disgruntled guilt
evasiveness where schizoid personality disorder rudely rued the day halt
ting natural development of body, mind and spirit, a rampant insult
finding thyself as a kid alienated, deviated, and gravitated by jolt
like electric shock from how peers responded to knocked
down confidence, egoism, faith, et cetera within self locked
and linkedin to an identifiable causes (which said malady) – marked
by painfully being shy, debased fortitude,
and intimidation noted
prominently when thee papa found him walking toward me,
where he orbited
from the dark side of me noggin with no intent at harm, yet a portent
welled up inside within mine chromosomal maternal and paternal quotient
whereat this unease generated an unspoken radiant
cowering reaction training thyself crouch with silent
body language that bespoke volumes expressing torment
with nary a handy dandy blues clue (meaning xl plus years ago) only the unguent
of magic powers to disappear since silent springs restrained thee to vent
and only when this sole son started a family of his own and went
back to visit parents did a diminution sans cower take the shortest xing
in heyday of inferiority spurred (a veritable bee line back
tummy honey combed hive), or if feeling especially intense – a yurt
or pup tent, would answer the call of duty, to lemme carry on camping
and once inside precautions taken to close all the zippers.

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Matthew Scott Harris

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çhåråc†e® ske†çh øƒ m円hew sçø†† hå®®is! ™Born in Cincinnati that buckeye state January 13th 1959 – 57+ years to date A tangle of arms & legs testing lungs, which sounded great He kind of resembled a misshapen octopus with oval pate Glowering inxs of deep purple from blue mood being irate Thrust out the womb of Harriet Harris whom Boyce did date After courting this youngest Kuritsky kin whose ill-fate Whisked by grim reaper, which demise she did hate For her being imbued with vim and vinegar til illness ate Away her je nais sais quois personable maternal trait Evident during my boyhood reflected by her son of late As he too inches closer to his mortality and Hades gate Aware that each day ought to be cherished as the rate Of time courses down zip line where grim reaper does wait Attired in brand name hoodie swinging scythe across oblate Spheroid i.e. terrestrial firmament – though years some great Yet to be lived – trying to re cap cha childhood bliss b4 freight Train on a collision course toward self-destruction ala tete a tete With Anorexia Nervosa as thy then coveted deadly mate A brutal hellish spiral down in2 abysmal depths of despair did create Indelible psychological affects undermined existence I now equate writ horrendous emotional, physical n social gouge within pate Pledged troth ('bout 2+ decades ago), which spouse oft times berate For lack of expressed concern and attests schizoid psychic slate irrevocably seared and stunted natural development where I rate prepubescent, early adulthood mental illness did grate Against once boisterously playful innocent boy crushed potentate Only male heir from me deceased mother who tried to extirpate Mailer daemons who forged suicide pact and via voice did dictate Albeit without success, yet decry forsaken innate Experiences with female relationships off viz poisoned bait!
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