Goodbye Six Pack Hello Love Handle

Goodbye Six Pack Hello Love Handle long poem

Photo by Steve A Johnson

Alternately titled: arm ugh gut tin

Aye dread getting undressing
and getting washed
even without spectacles
that haint no mo’ six pack ab
which nearly rock ribbed
mid equatorial zone shape shifted
into corpuscular blubbery
ancillary physiognomy
where aye wanna bab
bull posttraumatic stressed out
middle age battle of the bulge.

* * * * *
Sea son sponged pants squarely
and tightly across equatorial adipose tissue
requiring mister crab
to clamp down with pincers
viz primitive liposuction
whence rustling scupper
will efface this trireme
where three ply
tread fully and tirelessly dab
bull to ameliorate
rolls of extra flesh alien
to what stacked
as an athletic sculpted body.

* * * * *
Now no prolong inhalation
get with steely mettle hie trite to iron out flab
thus tis part
and parcel of senescence,
yet auxiliary buttressed dermis
effect forming gorged girth
giving “love handles” grab
reigniting reign of prepubescent anorexia nervosa,
boot strapped now wen frankly
zaps distorted self-image.

* * * * *
Evoked holocaust repugnant
rolls of fat insta jab
stubborn thoughts of self-loathing
entice me to become a lab
bore a tory guinea pig to restore
prime of life when five foot ten
alignment could nab
first place in a slick couture magazine
from the neck down
taut torso bearing
fashion model and
teen idol where tab.

* * * * *
To stand stock still until shutterfly
would SnapChat
rippled tummy, could
fill my hungry wallet with inxs of cash
now, aye haint so gorge ass,
WhatsApp with
faux pregnant protuberance,
though thankfully
derriere still rather dash
ing, which palm pilot sized buttocks
doth newt offset.

* * * * *
Lost battle of the bulge,
where diet tribes furloughed in a flash
abandoning their respective stations,
gnome hatter sinusoidal
parabolic frontispiece finds me to gnash
my toothless mouth for lack of means
to stave of the depredations
of slump pin proletariat
allowing me a hash.

* * * * *
Tag with hefty weight, acquiescing
this Pillsbury doughboy blivet
to subject himself to the sharp
stings of a cool whip lash
bearing the snap against raw skin as due process
and supplication for atlas shrug
ging his shoulders
at the fountainhead naming me mash
shew Scott in regard to oblate inflation.

* * * * *
Insulation fiber glass around midsection, and
how ma late mum
(an avid fan of doctor Carleton Fredericks,
who preceded Memet Oz), would quash
the love she showered on this sole heir –
resorting to exhaustive palliatives –
even ear rash
shun null gambits,
and as last ditch effort
putting this offspring
on par with an albatross –
vamoose get out with the trash!

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Matthew Scott Harris

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çhåråc†e® ske†çh øƒ m円hew sçø†† hå®®is! ™Born in Cincinnati that buckeye state January 13th 1959 – 57+ years to date A tangle of arms & legs testing lungs, which sounded great He kind of resembled a misshapen octopus with oval pate Glowering inxs of deep purple from blue mood being irate Thrust out the womb of Harriet Harris whom Boyce did date After courting this youngest Kuritsky kin whose ill-fate Whisked by grim reaper, which demise she did hate For her being imbued with vim and vinegar til illness ate Away her je nais sais quois personable maternal trait Evident during my boyhood reflected by her son of late As he too inches closer to his mortality and Hades gate Aware that each day ought to be cherished as the rate Of time courses down zip line where grim reaper does wait Attired in brand name hoodie swinging scythe across oblate Spheroid i.e. terrestrial firmament – though years some great Yet to be lived – trying to re cap cha childhood bliss b4 freight Train on a collision course toward self-destruction ala tete a tete With Anorexia Nervosa as thy then coveted deadly mate A brutal hellish spiral down in2 abysmal depths of despair did create Indelible psychological affects undermined existence I now equate writ horrendous emotional, physical n social gouge within pate Pledged troth ('bout 2+ decades ago), which spouse oft times berate For lack of expressed concern and attests schizoid psychic slate irrevocably seared and stunted natural development where I rate prepubescent, early adulthood mental illness did grate Against once boisterously playful innocent boy crushed potentate Only male heir from me deceased mother who tried to extirpate Mailer daemons who forged suicide pact and via voice did dictate Albeit without success, yet decry forsaken innate Experiences with female relationships off viz poisoned bait!
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