December 1st 1957

December 1st 1957 prose poem

Photo by jjandames


alternate title: debut of Amelie Beth Harris – McGeehan

First borne progeny to the late Harriet and current octogenarian widower
Boyce Harris her birth delivered more than the sum total of a healthy
baby girl, she gurgled with contentment as per the center of attention
for thirteen plus months until debut of this author,
whose birth automatically designated said offspring as “big” sister, who would instinctively
evince the role of pseudo mother, when this extremely bashful boy bore
being bruited by bullies, whence she served as protector and barrier reef
to cushion thyself, who suffered extreme vulnerability when thrown a
figurative sucker punch (and at times threatened with getting hammered
to a pitiful pulp) by brutes who found me a convenient target.
The disadvantage standing like a whisper in the wind exhibiting extreme introvertedness
(only re-cent lee strongly linkedin to biochemical disparity), and to top
off avalanche of denigrating assault this wordsmith subject to the unfair
incursions of all manner of venal, verbal and veracious vocalizations, I spoke
with a severe nasal arising from congenital defect (during the onset of
prepubescence) identified as sub-mucous cleft palate, which essentially
constituted a split uvula whereby two halves of what ought to be a singular
elongated fraction of an inch tear drop shaped tissue played havoc, when
every now and again spontaneous bursts of utterances took place
pronounced nasality a capstone in tandem to afore mentioned characteristics.
This current voluntarily solitary older papa reflects how hue man mix
of genetic primary colors red deuced his fighting spirit reduced him to yell low wing silent blue in the face retorts, which constant besieging deplorable fiendish hate jabbering tinder fueling internal discord, and exacerbating a predilection
toward rapier renting social withdrawal, temptation toward self starvation easily provoked when self esteem, confidence and acceptance of self already at an all time
low setting the stage for psychic fracture, and only of late salient strengths
plus health of body, mind and spirit prized, relished and valued sprung
immeasurably from love of eldest sibling, whose needling when mine existence
akin to a bridge over troubled water, now with 20/20 hindsight recognizes such misinterpretations as bothersome frequent meddling merely attempted
to express care and concern toward this sole brother, whose behavior when figuratively dangling from tender hooks bore witness to maturation of deux
darling daughters clearly understood while slogging thru trials and
tribulations of fatherhood brought revelations, sans how pained mother,
father and sister felt, when helplessness found Matthew Scott Harris to
writhe in despair preferring short cut viz demise via anorexia nervosa than experiencing plethora of positive opportunities to foster childhoods’ end,
and segway into vibrant young adult, which remembrance or things past
dredges up Proust chin wince of sadness at forsaking manifold glee instead
reacting by hermetically sealing thyself more exhausting than if early life
lived with active anchors re: esprit de corps, thus now each day holds value
even if occupied with routine matters, where self actualization finds me
striving to deliver measure of selflessness and payback to worthy persons,
who played a pivotal role aiding importance of this perceptive person.

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Matthew Scott Harris

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çhåråc†e® ske†çh øƒ m円hew sçø†† hå®®is! ™Born in Cincinnati that buckeye state January 13th 1959 – 57+ years to date A tangle of arms & legs testing lungs, which sounded great He kind of resembled a misshapen octopus with oval pate Glowering inxs of deep purple from blue mood being irate Thrust out the womb of Harriet Harris whom Boyce did date After courting this youngest Kuritsky kin whose ill-fate Whisked by grim reaper, which demise she did hate For her being imbued with vim and vinegar til illness ate Away her je nais sais quois personable maternal trait Evident during my boyhood reflected by her son of late As he too inches closer to his mortality and Hades gate Aware that each day ought to be cherished as the rate Of time courses down zip line where grim reaper does wait Attired in brand name hoodie swinging scythe across oblate Spheroid i.e. terrestrial firmament – though years some great Yet to be lived – trying to re cap cha childhood bliss b4 freight Train on a collision course toward self-destruction ala tete a tete With Anorexia Nervosa as thy then coveted deadly mate A brutal hellish spiral down in2 abysmal depths of despair did create Indelible psychological affects undermined existence I now equate writ horrendous emotional, physical n social gouge within pate Pledged troth ('bout 2+ decades ago), which spouse oft times berate For lack of expressed concern and attests schizoid psychic slate irrevocably seared and stunted natural development where I rate prepubescent, early adulthood mental illness did grate Against once boisterously playful innocent boy crushed potentate Only male heir from me deceased mother who tried to extirpate Mailer daemons who forged suicide pact and via voice did dictate Albeit without success, yet decry forsaken innate Experiences with female relationships off viz poisoned bait!
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