‘Cede yourself to me,
And you will never be alone again.
You’ll be revered.
But you must give yourself to me-
A willing concedes’, Fiend allures.
My conscious says acutely
And for an instant
I don’t see myself
I see only the Fiend.
I sink as I gasp.
Yet my conscious
Gives me a grasp.
‘This is what you ache for
No matter how much you try
You cannot slay this part of yourself.
The solitude of the self
That waits just under the stairs of your soul.
It’s always there,
No matter how much you’ve tried to get rid of it.
Stay with me and never be lonely again.’
My conscious croaks
‘Don’t listen… to that’
The vines of values
Tauten around my neck.
’No, you’re wrong.’
I say to the allure
As I wake up from forty winks
‘You can’t kill this part of me.
And nor can you accept it’
‘I don’t get you’ Fiend sounds cynical,
’That’s why they were able to seize you.
They found your fright.’
’I am not a nymph’, I smug
‘I am a hope and I sustain vow.
No matter how far you probe my dark corners,
You can never wedge me off guard.’
A split cackle finds a way under my skin.
‘Have you “searched” yourself, as you claim?’
’I’ve done things I’m not proud of.
I’ve made mistakes,’
I say as my voice growing stronger,
‘But I’ve done good, too.’
’And yet, you’re on your own
All that trying and still you stand apart,
Watching from the other side of the grass.
Afraid to have what you truly want
Because what if it’s not enough after all?
What if you get it and you still feel alone and apart?
So much better to wrap yourself in the longing.
Poor forlorn Cupid
You don’t quite fit, do you?
Poor Cupid – all alone.’ – Fiend grins
As if Fiend’s thugs a gust to my core.
‘No. I’m not.
I’m like everyone else in this
Obtuse, wounded, miraculous world.
I’m flawed yet floating.
Sure and strong in my grip.
As I see through you.
I see the truth.’