Late one night by the light of the moon.
Two hounds and three fools and I went hunting for a coon.
Now, being from the city it was pretty new to me.
But, I went along just out of curiosity.
We loaded up the hounds in an old rusty truck.
Hope’n we’d get a coon, with a little bit of luck.
We drove fifty miles down a dark, muddy road.
Till the truck overheated so we had to unload.
We slid to a stop, I jumped out with the grace of a fawn,
Landing square in a mud hole, my dignity was gone.
That gave me a hint as to what was in store.
But, I just cussed in a whisper and slammed the truck door.
I walked about a mile, my nose was turn’n red.
Just then, the bay’n of the hounds, says there’s a coon up ahead.
I ran towards the noise as fast as I could,
Know’n damned well if there was a place to fall, I would.
But, I kept on run’n through the briars and the trees.
That were whip’n and scrap’n up both me knees.
I finally found the tree the hounds were bark’n at,
I was breath’n like a quarter horse that was way too fat.
I climbed up the tree and looked in the hole,
What I saw next, scared me down to my soul.
Teeth like a grisly bear, I ain’t seen nothing stranger.
It even had a mask just like the Lone Ranger!
That coon shot out of that hole, knocked me out of the tree,
We were headed for the ground; it’s either him or me!
We hit the ground hard, where’s a mud hole when you need it?
Then he ran off like a rocket, I really felt defeated.
As the hounds licked my face.
The two fools were laugh’n so hard they couldn’t see.
I know that coon had a list of places he’d rather be.
And at that moment, I had a growing list on me.
Well, you should have seen it.
Quite a sight to behold.
So, on a clear night if you happen to see.
One coon, two hounds and three fools…one’s me.