You don’t get it do you?
The hurt that I feel inside.
You want me to respect you…
But you cloud my head with your lies.
I wish I could believe…
Everything you say to me.
But your history has proven
To find the words to tell you that I hate you for hurting me
And when I try to tell you… You’re whispering you love me.
Can I be so stupid to hope for something real with you
Especially when you lie, cheat, and walk away from me when I really need you?
They tell me that’s a strong word…
But I don’t use it all of the time.
Just in matters of the heart. Specifically this heart of mine.
Put a smile on?
How dare you tell me to be happy?!
When I look at your face, I want to scream, I want to cry… I want to be free.
No one warned me growing up that love would hurt so bad.
No one told me what to want, what to look for, what to need…
So I blame my absent dad.
I laid down.
I laid down with you when you told me that you cared.
I opened up my body to you based on promises that weren’t really there!
So I cry right?!
Isn’t that how the story goes?
And then you pretend to notice my tears, to notice my hurt… But there you go!
Lying to me…again, with hopes of a smile.
Lying to me…again because MY history proves I’m not strong enough to walk away from you.
But not anymore.
No longer will I hurt myself to love you, to cry when I want you.
I won’t wait up all hours of the night because of plans that weren’t really planned.
And I’m the one with the broken heart because now you’re holding her hand!
But you’re supposed to be my man?!
I can’t question where you and I stand anymore…
How can I be happy in MY world and want to die in YOURS?
I have to find those words that I never knew how to speak.
I have to tell you that your “love”… It’s a virus
And… It’s killing me.
To you and I’ll wish you all the happiness YOUR world can provide.
Because in order for me to live in YOUR world…
I have to walk away from you in MINE.