The thing about it is that I don’t know who I want to be with or if I want to be with anyone at all. I’ve spent my entire life being tied down to a lover, not ever knowing what it feels like to be alone. I’ve never known the feeling of calling my own heart home.
Why should women’s only dilemma in life be which man to marry or which man to love? Men seldom find themselves in these situations, because they screw first then love later, self-gratification then sacrifice. Ah, if only women had a pass to know what that felt like, but we are taught to love unconditionally, and the worse they are to us the harder we should love them. If they leave us for another be a good girl and keep his seat warm, for if you move to fast, you have not taken the time to feel the effects of losing true love, no matter what he’s doing always remain a lady.
When choosing love, always pick logic over emotion, sacrifice happiness for stability because you will find happiness in instability…eventually. If he pays the bills and he is well educated, and has you living a moderate life; with everything he does turn a blind eye don’t ask for more than he gives, and don’t take more than he offers, find a good balance between your feelings and his wants, always place his needs above your desires.
Hide your tears before he returns home, lock away any regrets and doubts. Heal like a wolverine and don’t keep count of the other women. It’s bad for your self-esteem. Never come to the conclusion that you can no longer do it because you will be ungrateful, and if you can no longer tolerate it rethink your thoughts because it will be indeed quite disgraceful.
In fact, what kind of woman would you be if you put yourself first?
If you Put marriage on the back burner and discovered the world, took a journey to and from planet earth if you woke up in the morning and made breakfast for just you? Ironed your own clothes made your own side of the bed, and made a dinner plate for one instead of two?
If you never had to worry about how tight your dress had to be, how long your hair must grow, and how long it would take him to pop the question so everyone would know. If you never had to worry about how many times a girl that’s not your size could catch his eye, if you never had to hide in the bathroom and cry softly so he couldn’t hear you, even though the volume on the TV is always high.
If you never had to worry about his broken promises his forgetful mind, his inconsiderateness, his ego and his pride? If you never had to look him in the eye and ask why? If you never had to wonder what is it she has that you don’t, if you never had to wonder why he did things with her and why with you, he won’t.
And what about if you never had to question your value or your self-worth, if he could see you as supermodel beautiful in sweatpants in a tee-shirt.
My dear if you were this woman, you would be free.
If you were this woman you would be married to me.