Acrimonious. prose poem

Uploaded by allan muzhanje

Alone inside but, encircled by people invisible to any significance in your eyes,

Empty and sorrowful, even a smile is too expensive for you, there is a whisper in you, a hushed voice, the only drive that pushes anything to your head, though grotesquely dangerous, it is the only thing you trust, You live in chosen solitary.

Yes the only thing cannot be wrong is that intonation, though sometimes its judgement is impaired and obliterated to shallowness, you obviously have absolute submission to whatever it says to you.

A weakness you possess, no one else is right, not even those who by birth rights are closest to you, instead especially they are the most distant from your heart,

I have shed tears, hot steaming drops of anguish, an unbearable burden of self-pity, a permanent scar right in the face, a scar that outweighs all the traces of beauty, destroying all that was left for hope.

There is an anger, no! An enragement deep inside, so thick I can almost reach out for it, it has bewildered you, crashed all that was left of your faith.

You know no family, there is only you to your mistaken imagination, you are my sister but, I’m no brother of yours, you are a part of our family but, we are just but, thin air to you.

No you don’t possess this madness, instead this bitterness first took refuge in you then took all that you were, and certainly left us with nothing but vanity. It’s only your physical body that is left, its humanity is gone, its sprightliness put down.

You were misled into believing a falsified past that brought you a platter of this rancour, now it’s become a part of you. Infectiously misinformed, reduced to slavery, submission to delusions, an injustice to our family, can anyone save you?

You let yourself drift away, counted yourself an outcast, saw your mother as your foe, and committed unspeakable deeds, saying devious words of hate against her even rendering her despicable and practically denying to be her daughter by your doing.

For as far as I have known, she loved you no less than an only child though I’m your brother and you have a younger sister too. We were supposed to be united but, you never believed in that. She taught us love, depths of it but, you never saw that, saved you from the cruelty of the world to give you a life she had always dreamt for you but, you despised her and all the efforts to restore good in you were in vain.

Regardless of all she sacrificed for you even what you have now, you chose to be naïve and let your simulated emotions turn you away from her.

I was helpless, you thought me repugnant, nothing of use, an unwanted brother.
No one blamed you for your own mistakes, things you were fully accountable for but, instead of reforming you went on and even pointed fingers for your actions.

Directing blame to innocent people with stolid indifference to their feelings.
There is a battle of thoughts in my head every time, a part of me that tells me I have to let you be, the other says I can’t give up on family.

Stop for a moment and look at the stars, even up there is a family lighting the skies at night with mother moon. Not a soul can miss such beauty of nature, an art to attain balance.
Come fill in your place, and make amendments.

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allan muzhanje

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I define my own bounds, I term my own 'perfect'
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