I can’t remember my life without you,
I can’t imagine it ever again,
You don’t always do what you promise to,
But sometimes you help ease the pain.
You always fill me with such hope,
You’re very deceptive that way,
It’s like you heard the words I spoke,
And you knew the right things to say.
You make promises you do not keep,
Often you go unexplained,
Then occasionally a few of you meet,
And things are never the same.
I feel like you almost “mix and match”,
Give one hand, take back with the other,
You do your best to help me detach,
No intention to help me recover.
You visit me morning, noon and night,
Terrified I miss one dose,
Often I feel like one day I might,
Empty, discard, and dispose.
I guess I know that deep inside,
That would be an expensive mistake,
For I’ve been there before, pushed you aside,
My sanity you decided to take.
You told me you’d help my anxiety ease,
You would lift my mood from the ground,
You would fill my mind with a gentle peace,
Paranoia not dancing around.
Over the years I admit it’s true,
I would jump to your defence,
Then realise the problem was actually you,
You’d fooled me but at what expense.
I have ordered a few of you just to go,
Walk away and never come back,
Others I guess it’s true I know,
Essential to keep me on track.
I don’t hate you now for we’re learning to live,
In harmony with each other,
Promises broken I will forgive,
For you DO want to help me recover!
Love, Angela x