You might be watching me, but I am watching you,
You think that you’re listening but I am hearing you,
You read my body language but I read yours loud and clear,
You’re present in the room but your mind it isn’t here.
Each clicking of your pen, each tapping of your foot,
I wonder what you scribble in your “official” looking book,
I wonder what you think you had the right to claim,
To write it in my notes and to which you ascertain.
You change the medication, increase a different dose,
I cling in desperation to overcome the lows,
I know what you are saying and it makes no sense at all,
You tick another box and try to put me in them all.
I observe what you are wearing, colourful or grey,
I hear the roaring volume in the things you do not say,
I look at you directly so I can look you in the eye,
I’m pleading for the truth, please not another lie.
I’m sorry I am boring you, that you don’t have the time,
You roll your eyes indifferently and say the words “It’s fine”
Ironically you mean those words from you to me,
I’m speaking them right back because “It’s fine” will never be.
I get up from the chair and walk towards the door,
Each step a little hesitant than the one before,
I glance back in hope that you’ll glance at me too,
In silent desperation that you’re going to help me through.
I guess the lesson learned is the one you taught so well,
Sometimes my story is the one I cannot tell,
So when you’re watching me, remember this is true,
If you look a little closer you will see I’m watching you.