Battle With The Insecure Self

Battle With The Insecure Self long poem

Photo by h.koppdelaney


Just who am I to you?
How do I look from your point of view?
I don’t know but it matters to me,
How you look at me physically.

I get conscious with how I look like,
That maybe the society won’t accept me.
With its culture of what beauty may be,
Now I’m face to face with insecurities.

I don’t feel good about myself,
My esteem’s going down.
I know it shouldn’t be but the society’s on a frown.
With how my face looks like and how my body’s fat that I’m fit for a clown.

Maybe for the world, I’m ugly and fat,
Maybe for the world I’m nowhere ‘hot’.
My physical appearance is their basis for judgement,
It’s how I look like that they give their personal and bias comments.

No I did not cut myself, I just rebelled.
Not from my parents but from the society I was held.
I shut myself out from this status quo,
Went against this common wave and ran my own show.

For years and years I hid behind my strong front.
Acting all strong and tough, but truth is I’m daunted.
A woman who lacks self- confidence and true happiness,
When will I realize I’m making my life a mess.

Years later I became stronger,
This woman who fed on insecurities and social terrors.
I built and strengthened an empire inside me,
I did this to help my multiples and faculties of balance be.

I don’t care anymore how people look at me,
I don’t mind if they laugh at how I look like.
I still have fears but I had lived that part of my life,
I learned the hard way, I learned it my way.

The culture I once knew, that I despised and turned down,
Turning my back from it was the best decision I made, hands down .
It helped me survive, it held me in place.
I’m no longer the girl from yesterday, now I’m actually living my days.

See I learned that everything’s up to me.
It depends on how I decide my fears be seen.
The society will not change for me, I know that now.
I hold the power to choose whether to rise above or drown.

It’s all in the mind and it’s where I have full control,
The ‘mind over matter’ attitude helped me feel whole.
Now, I have a strong line of thinking and a stronger personality.
I don’t allow things to destroy my balance, not even a somebody.

I swam in this familiar situation,
I circled myself and felt these self-commotions.
These things about insecurities didn’t leave me completely
But I fought hard for myself and I did it triumphantly.

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