I was tense,
My son hadn’t returned home even past midnight.
I had an empty stomach
But was hungry to see him.
He came roaring on his bike,
To zoom past me into his bed room.
I anxiously asked my son “Why are you so late?”
“Dad don’t treat me like kid,
I am grown up now and know my responsibility.”
He banged the door angrily .
It was like a slap on my cheeks!
I was terribly upset and thought,
Why is he so rude to me-
When I love and care for him so much?
I controlled my emotions
And slowly tried to reach the dining table-
To fill my hunger.
The food was all there inviting me for dinner,
And as my hand stretched to grab the Roti lying on the table,
I could not do so as my throat was completely choked.
With tears about to burst out
I rushed to my bed room,
And tried to control the impending floods.
I closed my eyes
And tried to wipe out drops of tears
With my handkerchief.
While I slowly opened my moist eyes,
I saw the blurred image of,
My Father hanging on the wall-
Staring at me with a sarcastic smile.
I felt like a thousand volt current passing through my body.
I tried to reason with him but he begin to laugh louder and louder,
Till I closed my ears
And went into slumber.
Five decades have rolled by,
Father appeared like a strange person.
He leaves home early in the day,
And comes late in the night.
He doesn’t care about my mother,
Or about me or my dozen siblings.
My mother take the whole burden,
Of taking care of the entire family.
While my mother fed us the best food,
Gave us beautiful cloths to wear-
Guiding us in the home work.
My father hardly is present at home except on Sundays.
I feel he is neglecting the family
And enjoying his own life!
I feel him to be partial to my other siblings.
I hated his presence when he visited my school,
For reviewing progress report.
He taking me to Doctor when I was unwell,
Was a duty and not love- I thought.
His gentle kisses on my forehead,
When I was sleeping looked like a pinprick.
Taking me occasionally to movies was a farce, I thought.
When my sisters got married and brothers got settled in life,
I gave all credit to my mother,
For taking the entire responsibility of bringing up the children.
I cursed my father for totally neglecting family,
My father started staying at home on retirement.
I was more agitated on seeing him sitting at home day & night,
I thought as he has become old and weak
He is aspiring for our assistance!
I felt now he is a big nuisance!
Why should he be now at home
And not when my mother needed him the most?
I neither cared for his wants
Nor bothered to know them.
Suddenly he fell sick
And on the verge of his death,
He called all the children by his bed side.
And pleaded to take care of mother –
To live harmoniously.
He left the world forever, then.
My mother broke down hysterically.
She only knew my fathers sacrifices to earn and feed such a big family!
I felt guilty of not gauging his sacrifices and love for the family.
Suddenly I got up to the roaring sound of the motor bike,
It was already late morning and my son had zipped out to his college
I stood in front of Dad’s photo
And hysterically cried for not reciprocating even once his eternal love for me.
I know God hasn’t forgiven me for what I did to my father
Even though my Dad had not even once,
Thought ill of me.
My son’s arrogance never hurts me now
As I now have realized
That I have to pay heavy price for the torture I inflicted on my parent.
I realised the pain and sacrifices made by my father,
Only after I became a father!
Now I have no qualms to declare that,
My father is as great a noble soul as my mother.
Oh Mother you were embedded in both of my eyes all these years,
But forgive me now for letting out one to my father.