Years

Years long poem

Photo by Tambako the Jaguar 

Looking at you,
From atop our staircase-
I could see so many years,
Flash through,
In that space of time.
Albeit, you looked,
Devastatingly handsome-
If I may, say so-
Yet I could not help,
But notice-
The lighter grey at temples
And in strands astray.
The broad shoulders,
Too looked reduced,
In their coated form-
While the much loved face,
Always so merry,
Looked more drawn.
My mind raced,
As it traced images of us,
With your big hand
Holding my much smaller one-
Tighter as we’d walked without much talk.
I remembered all too well,
The silent fear of letting me leave,
A certain shelter you’d built
As an abode.
Was I always disobedient-
To everything you’d said with your eyes?
I do know I am selfish-
But now, that’s led to real fear.
Of losing and a still-living.
I am afraid to let go,
As the years would scrunch,
The spatiotemporal dimension
That life may afford.
I wish I hadn’t left then-
Life would have been so much simpler
For you
And me too.
Drawn lines,
Straight roads
And a path to run and re-run-
In mind, heart and feet.
I am too shy to voice out loud,
How much I do love you,
And would hate to hurt you,
In anyway.
But I do and will-
Given the turns that life seems wrought with.
So I cry-
Cry myself to sleep-
Guilt ridden of not making wonders work
And not achieving enough,
To be the star shine of your every desire.
I know, you’d want me to settle down
To a happy simple life-
But I am far too removed from all of that-
I still want to fly ,
Without anyone curbing my sprite.
But, age too shows it’s nuances on me.
At 26, I feel older than my years,
And colder- much colder than ever before.
I feel none of the fire of love
For anyone anymore.
I will me to rise above and beyond-
Fly away to lands to live incognito.
But that’s escapism right?
Maybe, that’s what I have done
All along.
Run away from the first sign of danger.
You’ve never held me back-
For you knew that I would have run away,
Harder and faster.
Yet as I looked at you,
And looked on-
I could not help but wish,
That time could reverse-
And I could undo a lot of things.
I know there’s time,
To say and do more-
Live the life you’d dreamt for me.
A nice boy, a nice house and lots of laughs-
Is that me?
That’s the conflict-
Resonance and Dissonance.
Love and Life-
All so divergent to me.
Nothing remains in linearity
I see all in abstract absolute.
Life veins too seem shorter by the day-
And there’s still so much to do.
Endless thoughts bring on the insomnia-
As they bear down on me as ugly dark circles.
I look nothing of what I had,
Even a couple of months back.
Have I changed too,
Losing me in the process?
Scared of the years ahead,
I cannot let go still,
Even in thoughts,
As I am unable to see much past
The shadow of doubt hovering like dark cloud.
I want the nest happy and full,
Home town glory,
Sacrosanct and wonder-filled.
As happy chirps and twitter must bless
The quarters still,
As the roses you’ve planted,
Must bloom in earnest.
Will that all be true?

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High On Poems
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Congratulations! @averee_burman
This poem has been featured in the Poetry Article we published on Father’s Day. Your poem is listed with the works of celebrated poets. People reading this article will be directed to your profile page so they can read more of your work.
You can read the complete article here http://highonpoems.com/23842/blog/poetry-articles/father-poems-you-must-read-this-fathers-day

May your words reach places and touch hearts through the power of poetry.

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