Anticipating my imminent release,
drenched in spoiled love,
encompasses my heart
and swallows my body whole.
my rapidly racing fingers
reach for your soul in the depths of my sex.
the air forces its way outside of my lungs…
my bleeding throat fills my mouth
and chokes me into a warm silence.
I come to in a damp field.
woozy and wanting,
trapped in a precarious dream,
the wet grass pacifies me
and keeps me calm.
the soft scent of the sweetbriers
I devour myself inside their petals and leaves.
the thorns gnaw at my already torn skin.
they spiral over every bend of my curves.
fists full of dirt, roots in my hair
I struggle against them.
persistent and aching,
they latch themselves to me like leeches,
biting at my swollen body.
nothing but red in my view,
red floral clusters splattered with red sticky fluid.
red swollen flesh splayed and tattered among the red soaked thorns.
but at last.
relinquished against my will,
the weeds shrink away from my touch.
the thorns remain lodged inside of my skin.
at once I am disoriented and unseen
tainted and discarded by the field.
this departed field
speckled with bloodstained flesh,
feigns the changing seasons.
clawing my way back,
I have recovered my solace.
my sacred space
my untouched body
and my weakened knees
are peppered with the field’s dirt.
Poet’s Note –
This poem was used to gain insight on an emotionally challenging relationship. It was written immediately after the relationship ended and provided clarity on my feelings towards my partner. It represents my confusion, vulnerability, and powerless sense of euphoria throughout my interactions with this person.