The Fear Of This Love

The Fear Of This Love ballad

Photo by kev-shine

Why can’t I find them, the words? I need them to spill from me like a waterfall spills over a cliff.
I need you to hear me, hear all of this dread inside me, hear the twisting of my heart as it fears ever losing you. You need to know this, that without you I would die, there are no safety nets, no soft places to fall, I’ve looked hopelessly and frantically and only the rocks and their jagged edges are there below, of which would brutally tear at my being until death would be a relief and only death would release me. There is no coming back from the pain my soul would have to endure.

Why do I love you this much? Why can’t I love you like I have loved others, without worry? Why do I have this ungodly fear that you can’t and won’t love me the same, that the loss of me wouldn’t be the death of you as it surely would be for me.

I haven’t ever felt your arms around me but in this fact alone what does that say of my love for you, I haven’t ever kissed you my love but in the sad truth of that, what does that speak of my sanity? To love someone in such a manner that at times, all reasoning is lost and crippling pain resides because the thought of never being with you leaves me so empty that I can’t possibly make sense of the feelings I have.

When my mind goes crazy, my heart beats erratically I don’t eat, I don’t sleep and I can’t stop wondering what if, what if this infinite love in my heart is not reciprocated, what if I’m left alone standing on that edge where a feathers touch would send me falling to the jagged rocks below.

What if you don’t love and need me the same as I love and need you. Will you know the damage, the carnage that you will leave in your wake. Will you forget, will you forget me, the moments, the laughter and the tears, the smiles and thoughts, oh the thoughts. The purest of love that flowed from my fingertips as I wrote to you, the jealousy that my silly little heart held when I thought for one second someone might look your way, the never ending dreams we made, the beach, our beach, will you leave me there alone with nothing but a sea of tears surrounding me? Lest you forget me, as if you had never of loved me.

Where will I be then, where will I be my love? I’d only have one place to go if such a tragedy were to befall my heart, and then even the deepest darkest pits of hell could not even begin to compare to the pain and despair that you would leave me with.

I’ve known no other love like this, nor have I known another fear greater, you hold everything including the feather.

Poet’s Note:
In love with someone who I have not yet met physically, but have been in a relationship for 2 years online as he lives in England and I in the states. We are to be meeting for the first time in a couple of weeks and I can not shake this fear no matter how much he assures me he loves me.

Rate the poem
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
We are posting your rating...

Have something to say about the poem?

Terri L Earls

Signup / Login to follow the poet.
I just love writing, its therapy for me. I love reading other poems, getting inspired, feeling the pain or happiness that lie within the paragraphs or lines. I work in the medical field where I see decline in health everyday, death, and depression, its easy to get lost in the grim reality of it all. But writing is a way for me to escape, reading is a way for me to escape, So here I am. :)
Poems you will love

Give your feedback / review for the poem

5 Comments on "The Fear Of This Love"

Notify of
avatar
Sort by:   newest | oldest
ramakrishnan chatakondu
Member

I will die out of happiness….
…….if someone loves me with such intensity .

Preeti
Member

The insecurity, longing and fear linger in the poem…Nicely written:)

asoke kumar mitra
Member

beautiful write. wish you a very happy meeting………so deep in love……you must overcome this fear……
very lovely write……..

Sharon Swathi Uday Gaddala
Member

Your love for him, passion and emotions are all over in words.. magnificent writing..

Wish you luck meeting your love 🙂 Hope you both are together!!

wpDiscuz

Love Is In Air

Love Is In Air long poem

True love is something so elusive. True love between two people is the most precious of gifts, Falling in love is not just an expression. Love is a powerful force that cannot be dissuaded. Love requires a lot of faith.

From My Journals ‘love’

From My Journals love short poem

The very essence of love is uncertain, A relentless thumping of the heart. I must speak to you by such means as they are within my reach. He pierces my soul driving me into madness. I am half agony, half

Love Me Now

Love Me Now short poem

Hold me now, as I’m a child Keep me close. Be tender, mild Love me now. Now. And for forever Walk with me now, and as I grow Guide me through life’s ebb and flow Love me now. Now. And

Fail In Love

Fail In Love short poem

She was a traveling soul. The galaxy resting above her nose. I’d sit & stare. Wondering where the stars would go next. Both young & in love I let go. Tracing together swirls of color. The planets all together aligned.

I Thought This Was Love

I Thought This Was Love sonnet poems

Please take my hand, for I am blind. I’ve lost my path and my sense of touch. I’ve fallen, for my hands and feet are behind. Please let me hear, for all is in a hush. My wrist and ankles