I Am Not Gone

I Am Not Gone long poem

Photo by __MaRiNa__

One night all alone in my room
When all things in my life doomed
Sitting restlessly at the window, I looked at the moon
For that time I forgot about my wounds.
Wounds which all have made to my heart
This pain to bear is just too hard!
Several thoughts were running across my mind
Thoughts about ending up my life
Late at night I just cried
Now it was time for me to die
Suddenly I felt cold
Felt like I was losing my hold
Then with the sound of BOOM!
Dark smoke filled into my room
I realized ‘death’ is here
That’s what I always wanted, nothing to fear
She said to me- “Oh dear!
Why are you so desperate to die?
Why are you giving up so easily on your life?
Look at the wounds you’ve made
It’s not the time for you to say goodbye.”
I said- “It’s not about these wounds
There’s a wound inside my heart
My heart is just broken apart
This world is so mean
It’s a mirage
Mirage of goodness that’s what I’ve seen
No one is ready to help
No one is ready to give
All are dying to receive
They just take, they are fake
Every time goodness of a person is raped
People are with one until they are happy
None when one is sad
They will be with them
Until and unless they take away what one had
After hearing this death replied-
“This is what life is all about my child”
I said- “You don’t know me, my dark secrets
All those reasons that make me go upset”
She said- “OK, then say
Say it fast before your life is gone away”
I replied- “I’m an orphan with a family,
A dreamer with high dreams,
A heart-broken teen
Sorry there’s not any true lover in me,
I’m an unsolved mystery, probably
I’m a true friend till the end
That’s what they never tried to understand.”
Death replied- “You’re right dear
You’ll always remain a mystery- unclear
Your time to leave is here”
When I was about to leave
Suddenly my heart beat
There was someone who was praying for my life
Who was crying when I was dying
Death said- “Oh I see, you still got a choice
What do you say?
Still want to die?”
My heart beat goes on fast
Seeing this death laughed
Darkness appeared in front of my eyes
She was gone away I realized
Next thing I remember, I was lying down
In arms of my well-wisher I see
I felt a huge relief
Best place I ever wanted to be
Mystery can still be solved
Mystery is me, and I’m not gone.

Poet’s Note:
Whenever I sit down to write it always turn out to be sad, depressing, something dealing with death, suicide. I pen down my feelings when I am sad as I’ve got no one to share. So probably that’s the reason they all sound like this. This is my first poem I have posted here, much more like a story-telling. This is my old work which I wrote around in my school time.

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Memories are the only thing I have of you with me.. If only I could call your name and laugh with you just one more time..I would not mind cherishing that memory as our last..I'll call out your name once more and save a space for you in my heart anytime.Becoz u ve ol of my heartU r my everything.Come back to me someday with the warm smile on your face,For you are the only one who can fill my heart.~Winter Sonata(Hope this winter bring me your love as it did before)
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4 Comments on "I Am Not Gone"

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There’s a certain pain and insecurity in this poem….very touching…

Randall Smith

Had to read this several times Veronika. I could feel and see the pain but I also saw a desire to not have this
pain. You want death but know that is wrong. It was a good read


Well written. Heart will change when you read romantic poems.


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