Without You

Without You elegy

Walking down the memory lane,
this is the last goodbye,
the last smile, the last tear,
but maybe not the last memory I have to bear.

Time it was, time with you, time like I never knew,
time when I smiled through the tears
and cried through the smiles I threw.

Three years ago little did I know, how it is in life with you and me.
Three years hence now I know, how is it in life without you and me.
I wrote poems and soulful pleas, asking you to let me be.
I cried nights on wet pillows, wondering what it was to me.
While all you did was silently watch me fade this way,
just like one of my anklets you pilfered while I looked away.

All those promises you made, all the vows you took
were but mere words in your moments of truth.
Every time you had a chance to hold my hand through the fall,
you first looked right and then looked left,
while my hand trembled with the fear to lose you at all.

Those clandestine meets, those hugs, those kisses,
those stolen glances, those momentary touches,
that twinkle in the eye every time you looked at me,
that smile on your face when you saw me eat,
that look on your face when I held you in my arms,
they meant the world yet made me wonder,
what was I to you in your two-part world?

You said you were real with me
then why is it that I never felt so?
You said I don’t know what I mean to you
because maybe you never told me so.

I lived my life with you
a life that I wanted to
a life that had you and me
a life that was ours to be.
While you also lived a life
a life without me
a life that you said was more like a lie
a burden that was yours to be.

What started as love soon transformed into possession,
a scuffle to stay one minute longer
a trial to justify our need to wander
a constant bickering of what was wrong
an ordeal to just hold on.

You loved me like a lover
Carried me like a child
Fed me like a baby
Taught me like a teacher.
Hugged me like a man
Kissed me like a prince
Touched me like a shiver.
And I was yours ever since.

You were my night, my day, my everything.
You saved the nail from my toe,
the skin from my foot,
the hair from my scalp,
the bangle from my wrist.

You said you felt me within you,
yet I was always with you but still so far,
like I heard your voice from the inside of a jar.

I breathed your name with every breath.
I dreamt of you in every dream.
I thought of you in every moment.
I imagined you on me long after you were gone.
I smelled your fragrance when you weren’t around.
I sensed your touch on things you used.
I felt your warmth holding me through.

Always happy to pick up the love you threw,
I loved you in ways I never knew.
I loved you thinking I’ll never know love again,
and here I am, willing to walk that path again.

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7 Comments on "Without You"

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ramakrishnan chatakondu

I am also very happy to pick the poem you threw……….

Savi Mani

Dear Sonia, read and read again your wonderful poem, tried to feel the pain, tried to re-live those moments along with you, how it feels to be without that special someone in one’s life, …..your touched my soul…….

Milton Robertson
Milton Robertson

Beautiful that came from the heart. you are willing to walk it again. May this time it be true. God Bless You.

Abhinav Saxena

Really after reading your poem Sonia, I got reminireminiscences which I have spend with my dear one but alas pain is still there and your poem makes me feel at that moment of life! Marvellous one I must say and even I have also written on pain -‘The Rue of Separation’ with such a heavy heart like you!

Abhinav nom de plume ‘ Alligator ‘

Mrudula Rani

A trajectory of never ending love! You penned every detail beautifully.


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