Conflicted I tried, to comfort, reassure myself, I did not lose, gain knowledge. Yet the sorrow within says differently. This was not love, but dislike for me. Not that it was my reflection, actions of others, my heart tells a different story. There is no sorry, compensation that could fill, makeup that could cover, hide the blemished selfishness created. I hang my head as though I was wrong. Shouldn’t have trusted, loved. Desired a companion, lover, a home. I should have been satisfied, chosen to remain safe, protected. Forgetting all I endured while believing I was wanted, scares me most. For I should accept reality that it was not me, but him. Need to move on, hope that I will be loved the way I deserved to be. Never be conflicted again because I chose to love.
Poet’s Note Not being able to accept the reality that I was not loved by one I loved. Who acted as though he loved me when his actions says differently. Difficulty of not being able to move beyond that reality. Just being conflicted because of that Love.
A Registered nurse, wife, mother, poetic writer and United Way volunteer.Born in Belize, migrated to New York at age eighteen. After studying nursing, worked as an emergency room until starting a family.Having both natural and chosen children, it was the emotional struggles of the chosen ones that gave birth to many of her poems.Ruthieg believes that when all is forgotten or ignored, expressive words linger or get heard. That it is important for the hurt and wounded to have a voice, for that purpose, many of my poems were written.
At 10:30, Silence Dispersed,every edge withdrew with dark, The moon was pale, still brightening as diamond spark, At the tree, an owl hoot, at surface dogs barked. Sudden, I heeded, the sound of footsteps was appearing from the street, exulted
Far away from the world of love, hatred and war There is yet another world breathing silently Thats the world of love we call. There holds no boundaries No caste or creed Its purely emotions swirling freely. No land is
True love is something so elusive. True love between two people is the most precious of gifts, Falling in love is not just an expression. Love is a powerful force that cannot be dissuaded. Love requires a lot of faith.